Inner Battle
by Kikaili
Summary: What three words can do to a realtionship and how Akane takes them. Never thought she'd go off like that. ONE SHOT RA


Disclaimer: I do not, will not, and will never own Ranma ½ to my chagrin.  
  
(Author's Note: I know. I shouldn't be doing a one shot when I should be working on stay with me, but I have writer's block. Sorry. This one-shot is really dramatic. Not really my style, but thought I should try something a little different. Hope you like it.)  
  
Inner Battle: Chapter 1  
  
I started going faster and faster, the physical pain of the katas drowning out my thoughts. I can feel my limit approaching, my body won't take much more. The pain is unbearable, I feel myself being ripped apart, but I won't stop. I can't. It's like something or someone is pushing me and I don't care anymore; I want it. Who needs happiness, the pain is enough. It takes control of me replacing my emotions with sorrow and self-pity. What does he see in me? All I ever caused him is heartache, never giving him anything to hope for. And after al the suffering we strive to give each other, he speaks the words that I have secretly waited to hear and longed for: "I love you."  
  
I fall to my knees, tears running down my face, dripping onto the wooden floor. Sobs rack my body and I don't know why I'm crying, but the tears won't stop. I hear footsteps approaching me, it's him, it's always him. I don't turn to look, ashamed of my thoughts.  
  
The sound stops behind me and I feel strong arms encircle me. They hold me tightly to his chest and he strokes my hair softly. His voice is tender and loving as he speaks.  
  
"Akane," he begins, "are you okay? I came looking for you and find you nearly killing yourself practicing. You were so happy last night...what did I do wrong?"  
  
Again he believes he is to blame. He always apologizes for everything he does when over half of it is my fault. I cause it; the doubt, fear of not being good enough, never being good enough. Though through all of it he still loves me as I do him and the thought sickens me.  
  
"Why? Why did you do it? Ruin it?" I turn my head slightly trying my hardest to hide my face. "Everything's wrong."  
  
"Wha...What, I thought..." He says his grip loosening on me. I put my finger to his lips silencing him.  
  
"Be quiet Ranma. You can't help it this time." The tears that had died away with Ranma's presence started to slowly build up again.  
  
"Please don't say that 'Kane. There shouldn't be anything I can't help you with. I want to help, please.  
  
The hurt in his voice was so evident. I could hear him trying to hold back tears. Ranma Saotome? Cry? The idea was unimaginable even after Saffron. But here he was cradling me gently, but firmly, almost afraid to let go.  
  
"I'm so sorry. Ranma you have to believe it isn't your fault. It never was your fault. Please don't think that anymore."  
  
He looked down amazed at my openness as I continued to tearfully pour my soul out to him.  
  
"When we first met, I hated you, everything about you. I don't know why, though I think now that it was because I was Akane Tendo, so used to anger getting me through all of my problems. It was so simple to hide behind. Then you came. I couldn't be angry with you, no matter how hard I tried. I mean sure I had some lapses, but really I was a lot happier around you. There was finally an emotion that I couldn't replace with anger...and that emotion felt like something I had to depend on. That's not what scared me though, what scared me was that I knew I wouldn't be able to live without it anymore and I wouldn't be able to depend on only myself, but on someone else...you.  
  
I brushed my hand against his cheek, smiling slightly, before turning away again.  
  
"All of these feelings, these emotions, came to me gradually and each day as those feelings grew stronger the more I fought back. It was getting harder, but it challenged me more than anything else. I was okay with that for a little while, but then the pain started. I cared more and more about what you thought and the methods that I had used before weren't working anymore. The pain became overwhelming. It got to the point where just to put up a front during the day I would cry at night to help relieve the pressure bearing on my heart. I don't know why, but pain had become such a part of my life since mom died it felt natural and without it I was empty. This wasn't the case with you anymore, though bad habits are hard to break."  
  
I laughed a little. No real emotion was in it; short and hollow. Ranma's arms were still wrapped around me in a loose embrace. I looked up at him slightly and felt a new warm wet feeling on my cheeks as his tears dripped onto my face, mingling with my own. He cupped my cheek and brushes the tears away with his thumb. I can see myself in his eyes, our faces are inches apart and I suddenly have the urge to know how Ranma's lips feel and taste like. My eyes travel up his face to meet two grey-blue pools staring intensely at me. It's scary and intoxicating at the same time. Our faces closer as his eyes draw me in. Heat envelops my body as our lips meet and I let my feelings, which I had denied for so long, take control of me.  
  
This felt better than anything I has ever experienced. It was like all tension that had been building since our first meeting, the pressure and stress, snapped. All of it gone with one action.  
  
Ranma was still hesitant in kissing me, scared of what might happen when the kiss ended. I was ashamed to have caused that fear in him and I wished that he knew before now not to be afraid.  
  
I pulled back a little from him and he quickly let go.  
  
"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have taken adva—"  
  
His sentence was broken off with another kiss that went far beyond the first. The weight of my body pressed against his forced him back onto the floor.  
  
I ran my fingers through his hair massaging his scalp with my fingertips. His hands caressed my back through the gi. I ran my tongue across his lips asking for entrance and he willingly parted them.  
  
It was exhilarating. I shivered as we touched tongues each stroking each other in turn.  
  
Thing started to get more intense and absentmindedly I moved my hand underneath his shirt tracing the muscle lines on his stomach. A low moan escaped him knocking us both out of our trance. We both pulled back, breathing heavily.  
  
No one existed but us as we stared at each other, finding comfort in each others eyes. Ranma was the first to break the silence.  
  
"Akane, I know this whole relationship scares you, it scares me too, but I hope as time passes you get over that."  
  
He paused for a moment searching for what to say next, finding it he looked back up at me and took my hands.  
  
"We're only alive for a few years out of eternity and most of us don't make a huge impact on the world."  
  
I looked at him inquisitively as he continued.  
  
"But we're all born for a reason. You're my reason. Even if I was born just to make you happy, that's enough for me. Whether its seconds or years out of eternity I want to spend them with you. You know how you talk about all the pain you've been through? Well, it hurts like hell every time I think about how much time I think about how much time I wasted isolating myself from you just because I was scared. That won't happen again."  
  
He let me go and placed his hands on the floor and bowed before me.  
  
"I, Ranma Saotome, solemnly swear upon my honor as a martial artist and a man, that I shall never again cause you pain and suffering from my selfishness and cowardice. I promise to spend my life caring for you. There's gonna be times where I slip up, but please remember I love you more than I thought possible. Please accept my vow and me, though I know you can do a lot better."  
  
He looked sheepishly up at me awaiting my reply.  
  
Tears are streaming down my face again, but this time I know why I'm crying and it isn't for self-pity, from pain, or worry. It's the feeling of happiness flowing through me and the realization of what it really means to be happy.  
  
****END****  
  
(Author's Note: WOW, I wrote this? That's like, whoa. I'm seriously dramatic. You shouldn't have read this. This seriously sucked. It was way too mushy and dramatic. If you haven't read Ranma's last day by me go read that. Cause this really blew. No I'm serious. Please don't think that I'm this freakin' serious. OMG, Please go read something funny after this. I can't believe you made it through. You guys obviously have a will power I don't. Any way, got some good news, I guess. I thought Ranma's Last Day had a seriously sucky "ending". If that's what you can call that, so there's gonna be a chapter 8 cause I have a sudden inspiration, but don't hate me afterwards kay? OP is gonna be pissed, when I tell her. O well, PEACE!) 


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